jet lag.

i've tried writing this post quite a few times in the past few months, and as time went on it got harder and harder to create something that adequately expressed what inevitably kept becoming a larger experience.  so instead, i'm not going to really talk about the last few months at all.  the difficulty i have in maintaining this blog has made me realize that blogging probably isn't for me, but since i'd hate to devastate my three loyal readers (actually, google reader tells me i have five subscribers, i'm touched), i'm going to try to push through anyway.

i returned to hong kong four hours ago (at 5:15 am, after a ten hour layover in vancouver), and have decided to use jet lag to my advantage and maybe write something that my sleepy stupor will allow me to post without over thinking.  being back in the us was wonderful and exhausting.  i split my time between the west coast (vancouver, seattle and portland) and minneapolis, and saw a lot of great friends and family.  the ten months i lived in hong kong were, i think, the longest period of time i have spent outside of the us in a single stretch.  after my whirlwind trip back to the us, it's strange to be sitting back in my bed with only the recent water damage on my ceiling courtesy of hong kong's recent torrential rains to remind me of my absence.

so, i'm back, probably for about five months.  the fulbright officially ends on july 3rd, and then i have to start making choices for myself.  it seems i've finally reached the end of the live-your-life-in-handy-segments-so-you-don't-have-to-make-important-life-decisions phase.  i'm not sure why i'm calling it a phase, though, since that phase has been more or less the entirety of my life.  i feel ok about that, though.  i won't share any of my 'definite/certain/fresh' plans for the next few months quite yet, since, let's be honest, they'll be different tomorrow, but i do know that i'll be staying in china and se asia until thanksgiving, hopefully studying chinese, and (maybe?) studying for the gre.

the point of this post is that i'm working through a lot right now, and maybe if i figure some of 'it' out i'll share my realizations here.  i did smile as i stepped off the plane this morning, even as i was slapped?kneed?buffeted? in the face by 120% humidity and 90 degree weather at 5:15 in the morning.  i guess that probably means i'm happy to be back.  and with a little luck, hopefully it will be less than two months until i try to do this whole writing thing again.