i miss fall.

for some reason, writing has felt very difficult lately.

i've settled into what might be called a routine, although every day continues to be quite different than the previous one. my teaching schedule is finally somewhat consistent. i work three days a week in tai po, which is nice because it gives me a considerable amount of time away from campus.

i was walking home tonight after a pretty surreal halloween party put on by the RA staff on campus, and had one of those 'i am very far from home' moments. moments like these usually come out of nowhere and are rarely the result of exceptional circumstances. it kind of feels like an artificially constructed mental barrier comes crashing down, as one of eight thousand daily stimuli finally tips the balance. it's like that marble game where you have to gradually pull out the pick up sticks and then one stick causes all the marbles to fall. i really liked that game. anyway, my brain evidentally works like a poor simile. but in losing my marbles, i find that all of a sudden the reality of my situation comes flooding in in an intense and really emotional way. the interesting thing is that this is rarely a negative experience. in fact, tonight it made me smile. maybe it's like the gradual process of getting used to and ultimately blocking out a familiar noise, and then three weeks later, for no particular reason, hearing it again and realizing that it's been with you the whole time. maybe i live in my head too much. the point is, it's easy to forget how many barriers i (or anyone really) put up in a foreign place to maintain some sense of normalcy. try as you might, these barriers can only hold up for so long, though. when they do fall down, the sounds, smells and surroundings of a place can hit you all at once. i guess i find it kind of exciting.

it's strange to think that i will have been in hong kong for three months on saturday. hong kong still doesn't feel completely comfortable, i don't know if it ever will. there continue to be so many things about this city that surprise me on a daily basis, though, that keep life consistently interesting. the strange mix between mass consumerism on a scale i've never experienced and huge areas of national park mean that in 30 minutes i can find myself surrounded by any number of vastly different landscapes.

i've been hiking a lot recently, which has really greatened my appreciation for hong kong. most of the trails here are concrete, which is a bummer, but the way the city is built on what must have originally looked like a pretty unforgiving landscape is stunning (not stunning beautiful, but stunning how is this possible). the land itself is incredibly hilly, making the hundreds (probably thousands) of 30 story buildings that pop up out of nowhere look really unnatural.

i learned last week that mong kok is the most densely populated urban area in the world. there are 130,000 people per square km. i don't think i can really even process what that means. it's a lot. imagine leaving a concert venue all the time.

i think i'll stop there. i seem to have been affected by a writing style that my students often use. rather than write a linear, intro-thesis-topic sentences-conclusion essay, many students have a very circular way of writing. it's certainly indicative of the religious and cultural views of much of china. while it often doesn't make a lot of sense in an argumentative essay (at least to me) there's something really interesting about the way it can be used to convey meaning.

i've been listening to a lot of early sufjan stevens recently. it makes me nostalgic. i hope you are all doing well. take care.